8. what i owe the bird in the freezer aisle
I thought I caught you seeing me see you
But I don’t know
And these days
aint the heart just like
a bird in the grocery store
they all ignore
But don’t you think that it’s here in the mirror
Where we are carved
yeah we are carved
and maybe i’m not an endangered specie
after all
sure there’s a genius in freezing completely
and playing it safe
but these days
Don’t it seem you gotta be a good kisser just to
Really be afraid
Sure heaven has a mandate that I’m pissed at
But I don’t know
No I don’t know
I guess I owe it to the bird in the freezer aisle
And I should let it go
But don’t u think it’s here in the mirror
where we so gayly warm our claws for oh
such a shadow fest
chewing
Would u think I was lying to myself
To play it safe?
Sure there’s a couple novels I’m pissed at
god i hated "zero's greed"
and also "zero's watching sound”
was a big disappointment
and Hey I’m sorry We never met up
but i was working really hard
on my critique of the zero series
it was almost like my critique of zero
was a way to get closer to you
without having to actually
face myself in the process
i guess
Zero courted me well and now my
My hands are grass
To the touch
and all changing
And a hundred swim spots are calling me
Now in broken dutch
Zero courted me well and I
I just gotta load my wheel !
and these days
A hundred broken swim spots
all call me names and
they all find a kind of sport
in my renunciation
And I love how
even though i am so good at
being a whole integer and
at breaking zero’s balls with it
(i’m probably about one of five or so
of the top critics of zero
in the field)
there is still something zero needs from me
i love how
How’s there’s a smallness inherent in
The mirror's thirst
it can't do without me
don't you love how i am so small and zero isn’t at all
but the whole idea of what we come from
it's impossible without me or you tasting it?
and the mirror's kiss?
how the genius of the kiss is in between the known
and the unknown?
i forgot this cool line about
if i am right or wrong
and i actually think that's a really attractive thing about me
and my process in the world
write drunk
and edit drunker
is the edit i made in my sober process
but don't you talk shit on my crisis
a lot of really cool persons in the world
have a cool idea about
why or why not and
damn just look at me
and how i am here now
Oh and these days
how I have made a Sport of crisis
in the freezer aisle
with the birds all landing all on my head and shoulders
and my outstretched arms
and I'm a little bit surprised at how
this doesn't get me many dates
And I know
the narrative is cat-calling me
me from my other side
the other side of the mirror
flexes its jaws so gayly
and these days
the sexiness of the other side it's
where i am when i am a whole integer for you
and all the good little things
where i am forgetting them on purpose
But how the hell u end up upright?!
Just put me down
Yeah put me down
There is a logic in being the one that is renounced
That I have come to call home
but i have not changed
no i have not changed
and maybe it's you, me, and the zero's mandate
we should really get together
and think up a really good apology
to this world of possible things
let’s stop finding out
what we can or can't do
i’m not mad
i just want to make a little drawing
of this one way that you have changed
i have changed too
and i love how I don't see it
couldn't you
for just one moment
not see it too?